How Spiritual Men Bust the Winter Blues
Winter can be an emotionally testing time as feelings of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) creep into our lives. Seeing the bright side of life is challenging to do when it's dark and cold outside. However, acclaimed 'Man Whisperer', Kenny Mammarella D'Cruz, says winter is a good time to tap into our superpowers and use his tried and tested techniques to bust the winter blues.
As a coach and guru of all things men, Kenny supercharged his MenSpeak men's groups during the pandemic to help men overcome feelings of trauma and isolation. MenSpeak men's groups are now a powerful movement that helps men with seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and other mental health conditions.
Kenny recommends the following coping strategies to help men stay mentally and physically well. Even those men who feel depressed, demotivated, withdrawn and low on energy will notice an uplifting transformation if they follow these tips.
Step 1: Reclaim your mind by breathing, showering and shivering
Many men, especially in the winter months, can wake up feeling panicked and out of control, expecting something terrible to happen. The best way to break the spell on 'analysis paralysis' is to breathe out of your head and into your body. Then count down: 3-2-1 and leap out of bed and into the shower. Festering in your fear whilst obsessively thinking about how to fix the unfixable has never got anyone anywhere, so shock it off your skin with a blast of cold water and claim back your day.
Step 2: Write your negative thoughts and feelings out of you
'Morning pages' is an efficient technique to get the debris of negative thoughts and feelings out of your head and onto three sides of paper in a free-flowing stream of consciousness. So without thinking, crafting, judgment, and attempting to put anything to rights, write it out of you and set your mind free. You can safely set your scribbles on fire unless you're the type of guy who likes to keep a journal and check back on your patterns and cycles to know yourself better and remember what was.
Step 3: Move!
Whether you're a yang type of guy: running, skipping, thrashing out lengths in the pool, pumping iron and getting your heart pumping; or your nature is more yin: walking the dog, cleaning your home, stretching into your yogic postures or peacefully perfecting your breaststroke, regular activity makes all the difference. Wild swimming is a real boost to your immune system, while wild dancing embodies like nothing else. So who cares what other people think - be your own man, do your dance and set your spirit free.
Step 4: Be still…
Traditional meditation is sitting still, breathing consciously and observing your thoughts pass by as you quieten your mind into blissful being. Power thinking is not where it's at! There are many ways of accessing 'the zone', from communing with nature, ironing your shirts, cleaning the car, painting, doodling, tinkering, tai chi, chi gong, and any creative expression that takes you out of your doing and connected with your being. So connect with yourself your way and casually connect with a benevolent universe.
Step 5: Be held by structure, but not too tightly
Some people do well with structure, routine and consistency, knowing what to expect without dealing with change or choices. Others need the space and flexibility to respond to whatever life brings, maintaining their sense of freedom rather than rebelling rigidity. The important thing is that you are not owned by your to-do list or bullied by your inboxes. So balance reality with your personality, manage your energy cycles and do whatever will relieve the most pressure first, taking regular breaks and perhaps a cheeky nap?
Step 6: Speak it out, be heard and get real
Since lockdown, my team of trained men's group facilitators and I have held daily online lunch-hour men's groups (by donation), so men can speak out whatever is on their minds, laying heavy in their hearts, hijacking their days, or confusing their lives. It's not healthy to be a lone ranger, so speak it out with a stranger rather than carrying it around and potentially lashing out on others or lashing in with self-loathing and bad habits. A problem shared is an opportunity to learn from the experiences of others and to stand on the shoulders of giants whilst making new friends. How better to share the journey and grow as your own man then by letting go of who you no longer need to be, as you share your own light during the dark days?
Kenny's techniques prove that even when we are powerless against the changing seasons, we can draw on our own natural power to build our mental and physical strength.