Neuropsychologist Dr Rachel Taylor explains the science behind gift giving - and offers her top tips
“The giving and receiving of gifts is extremely symbolic for human beings (and other animals) which has been evident throughout the whole evolution of humanity. It is used to connect, build and maintain relationships; to show love, respect and/or devotion; to allow for reciprocation; to appreciate others; to communicate symbolically; to help with finding (and keeping) a significant other.,” explains Dr Rachel Taylor, neuropsychologist, podcast host and Founder of UNBroken,
“Gifts do come in all shapes and sizes, however when we think about gifts they have different motivations for what they actually represent. They can be symbolic to show that the giver really understands what the receiver would value, they can be symbolic of the occasion on which they are being given, they can show both the giver and receiver and what they stand for and they simply just be a tokenistic gesture of handing something over.,” she continues.
“It is important to remember that gaining something elicits an emotional response, so what kind of response do you want to elicit? Are you that bothered about whether it is the right one or not? If you wanted to make a huge impact then the gift needs to be one that has huge emotions that can be attached to it - so it is not necessarily the most expensive (or if you wanted to show how rich you are it may be) but it is one that denotes to the receiver that you know who they are and what they would value. Appreciation in essence is raising the value of something or someone, so if you hit the right spot in your gift giving then you are going to raise your value in the eyes of another as well as the recipient feeling appreciated.”
Does the perfect gift need to cost a fortune? “The best kind of gifts have been shown in research to be ones that are experiences more than things, which is a boon if you are needing to watch the pennies at any time. Putting thought into organising an event that you know the other would enjoy would mean more and have an extremely lasting effect, more so than getting something material, especially if it was so that the receiver could learn new skills as that is the gift that keeps on giving. Practical gifts are all well and good but will not have the same emotional resonance as an experience out of the ordinary day-to-day routine. We have all heard the phrase 'its the thought that counts,' when attempting to marry up the disappointment of an ill-thought-out gift with the social niceties and etiquette of receiving, and it really is the thought that counts, so we can all really think about what the person we are gifting to would really appreciate rather than bestowing on them a tokenistic 'thing' that will either get regifted, thrown away or donated to charity. “
Dr Rachel’s Five Golden Rules of Gifting
1. Think about why are you gifting - what are you conveying in the whole symbolic act of gifting?
2. What emotions do you want to elicit - this will all be dependent on why you are gifting.
3. Are you bothered about being appreciated (raising your value) or not?
4. How do you want your gift to be remembered?
5. What does this say about the type of gifter you are?
Dr Rachel concludes that we should remember that gifts do not need to be store-bought “I think it is so important right now to really understand the art of gifting and what it all represents as we all need human beings to come together, feel valued, feel like they belong and place good emotional meaning on experiences. These are the ingredients that create real resilience. To gift some time to sit and be with someone is a huge statement in itself. Human beings need human beings and we can help others so much just by being with them, wholeheartedly, without distraction, fully focused giving them our undivided attention. “