Neuropsychologist Dr Rachel Taylor on how to cope with national grief
A recent survey, conducted by DAPS Agency and Perspectus Global, revealed that 27% of female Brits and 20% of British men admitted to shedding a tear for the passing of Queen Elizabeth II. A third of Brits feel that they have lost someone they know and 70% think they should have had the day off on Friday to grieve.
Residents of Sheffield were the most upset, with four out of ten saying that they cried, and 15% saying they will go into mourning. Nationwide, 11% of Brits said they would mourn and 83% of Brits think the world will mourn.
Dr Rachel Taylor is a neuropsychologist, podcast host and Founder of UNBroken. She gives this advice: “People need to accept that regardless of their opinion of the Queen this is going to change the fabric of society and every single brain does not like change. Good coping strategies for grief all start with acceptance, not denial. Being gentle and taking things slowly is essential, these are very early days, and information takes time to be processed by the frontal lobe. Initial emotional responses will be there and will be governed by what the Queen represented to you and the people who are important to you as well as the community you live in. So it is really important to allow yourself the time and space to really think about what the passing of such a huge presence in all of our experiences means to you. It may mean nothing but if you really think about it, you may be surprised at exactly what it means.
People need to consciously turn away from any media or at least limit their exposure to it. They need to seek solace and comfort in areas of life that are predictable and certain. Nature and observing the cycles within it are really useful to connect with as spring always follows winter and life always follows death.
Grieving is a form of learning in effect and about how life is going to be without the person/things we have lost within it. So when it’s a major public figure then we have to think about how and what that public figure represented to us and what that means for our day-to-day living. So with the loss of the Queen then it is important to understand what she represented to you in your belief system and how that affects your identity now and going forward. So a really good place to start is to realise that the initial stages of grief are shock, denial and disbelief at what is happening so we need to treat the brain and body for this. Keep healthy familiar habits, and connect with people who support and love you, if this is difficult connect with animals and ensure that you have eaten enough and are hydrated enough to deal with the additional energy required to process grief.
Arnica is a good remedy for dealing with shock and has been empirically found to support the brain and nervous system with grief. Talking and thinking about memories and reprinting them with the emotions that you want them to have so remembering someone with joy and kindness is so much more important than remembering someone with anger and/or anxiety. Acceptance of truth and the need to get support from loved ones is essential as is taking time to think about what death, loss and grief mean to us individually. The experience that people have had with loss will always affect how they feel and deal with death going forward so it can often be an unprocessed emotion that will be rising to the surface in times like these. So it’s good to connect with yourself to ask what you need to support yourself at this time - our bodies are extremely wise and will give us answers if we ask the questions. “