5 Ways To Make Yourself A More Attractive Man
While looks form part of our attraction to other people, it is not the be-all and end-all of the dating world. Looks can fade over time, while your personality lasts forever and that’s what’s most important.
However, if you are someone who worries about their appearance when it comes to dating, here are some simple steps you can take to make yourself appear more attractive.
1. Be authentic
Don’t try to boost your appeal by behaving, dressing and presenting yourself in a false light. Express the authentic you, so that others can be safely invited to your party. If you’re a fraud; you’ll attract a fraud, or worse still, someone who falls for a cheap act!
Hiding behind a mask of shyness, of blandness, of over-confidence, or of perfection leaves little space for others to engage with you. Try stepping outside of your comfort zone to create deeper connections with others.
- Risk embarrassing yourself by giving a more honest, possibly unpopular opinion.
- Passionately blurt out what's on your mind or in your heart without filtering it first.
- Be playful. Gently make fun of someone's jacket and break the ice with something silly.
2. Body language
Be aware of your body language and make sure that you are presenting yourself on the outside, as you are on the inside. Being authentic can only come across with self-assured confidence and leaves little space for being showy and arrogant.
Gain feedback on the impression you make and how you come across. If you don't have an honest outside perspective, come along to a monthly MenAware Online workshop.
Allow people trust and warm to you.
- Avoid slouching and hold your body comfortably open, uncrossing defensive arms and legs.
- Hold your head up and be gently available and attentive.
- Maintain eye-contact, gently and calmly, without staring or being piercing.
- Don’t get distracted and fidget but keep breathing yourself into calmness.
- Try to keep your body language grounded, balanced, solid and open.
3. Find your edge.
Bertie started taking part in a MenSpeak men's groups in his early twenties, having stayed very safe in social situations since leaving school. After attending a couple of MenAware workshops he began to explore the edge of his comfort zone by asserting himself, playfully teasing others and learning to be more flirtatious. Sure this was scary at first, but after practise and feedback it got easier and he rarely got embarrassed and actually, people were relieved! His relationships deepened immensely, he became close friends with people who'd just been acquaintances beforehand and suddenly life was courting him!
4. Embrace your 'flaws'
Do not apologise and compensate for who you are not. If you have a gap in your teeth, beam anyway. Don’t hide your imperfections, accept them and let others accept you.
All of us are perfect, right here and now, so accept, beam and let the light you put out naturally attract love, like moths to a flame!
Mark was in his thirties when he first attended a MenAware workshop, very self-conscious about his crooked teeth. It was a revelation to him that not only did people not notice or care about them, but people actually like crooked teeth and found that his give him personality and made him more attractive!
5. Be calmly confident
You don’t need to sell yourself to anyone. Quiet confidence can be very sexy, where too much noise can be toxic, off-putting and leave no space for intimacy.
So go slow, allow for silence, then slowly look them in their eyes and smile. Gently taking her hand and saying something personal, or pretend to read her palm and enter intimate play. If social distancing is the order of the day, then do some face-reading - this can work a treat on a screen!
While there are pick-up-artists that say you should learn slick lines, dress flamboyantly or consciously 'play' other people to get them attracted to you, the truth is you will most likely attract others who are also faking it and you're probably worth more than a fix of a fake relationship.
The most important thing is being authentic, getting outside of your comfort zone and connecting with everyone, not just the opposite sex.
The more you connect with everyone you encounter, from the cashier at the supermarket to customer services on the phone, the less you will rely on the attention of romantic partners to get all your needs met.
Our MenAware Online workshops are the perfect opportunity to enlist help from others in uncovering the authentic you, and to experiment with bringing your true self out into the world, available to love.
Ends
Kenny Mammarella-D'Cruz has been holding MenSpeak men's groups for 20 years and MenAware workshops for 3 years. Dashing participant Bertie is available for comment and interview, as is Kenny.