Bedford mums reflect on loneliness of maternity leave as local clubs and activities reopen
Since March 2020, over 600,000 babies have been born in England and Wales1 – living their entire lives in lockdown. Like many other mums, Becky Barker and Kelly Mercel have experienced the joy of having their first baby in almost complete isolation. No hospital visits from new grandparents, no coffee mornings with other first-time mums and no access to mummy and baby groups. But, with restrictions now easing, both Bedfordshire-based mums Becky and Kelly have finally been able to experience one of the most exciting and rewarding new-born activities – baby swimming lessons.
“We absolutely loved every second of it,” explained Becky, who had son Hendrix four months ago. “He had the biggest smile on his face the entire time and seemed really intrigued by the other babies in the pool. As a new mum, it was so nice to finally be able to meet other local parents and share a special bonding experience with my little boy at the same time. We really enjoyed finally getting to meet our Water Babies swimming teacher too, after waiting weeks for our first session!”
For Becky, the lockdown restrictions easing means she has just a few months left of maternity leave to fit in as many activities as she can. As well as giving Hendrix as many opportunities as possible, the first-time mum is determined to make up for the lost time stuck at home with her new-born.
“The last few months certainly haven’t been the maternity leave experience I was hoping for,” added Becky. “From Hendrix’s birth, which my husband Adam could thankfully be there for some of the time, to introducing him to our family – nothing has been straightforward. But we’ve made the best of it! I’m just so pleased that I’m now able to fill the next few months with our weekly swimming lessons and other fun, interactive classes.
“The first few months after having Hendrix were so lonely and overwhelming. To know I’m not the only new mum who has had to contend with that is just so sad. I certainly understand why other new parents might have trepidations about joining local classes and groups, especially after living in isolation for so long, but I’d really encourage them to go for it. Groups like Water Babies have done a fantastic job of implementing social distancing measures, so you and little one will be safe, and are passionate about encouraging new parents to socialise. In Hendrix’s case, it’s been one of the best things we’ve done so far!”
Kelly Mercel had daughter Adeline just 19 days into the first enforced lockdown last year. Unfortunately, this meant that Adeline was almost four months old by the time she got to meet her grandparents in person. Having had Adeline last spring, Kelly is already back at work as a solicitor - so missed out on the maternity leave experience she had hoped for since finding out she was expecting.
“If I’m being truthfully honest, I’ve never felt more isolated or overwhelmed. My partner, Tom, had only recently started a new job in the weeks running up to Adeline’s arrival, so wasn’t able to take much time off with me once she was born. Not having my parents or in-laws around to help in those first few months was hard to cope with. But now, even though I’m back at work, we’re able to get back out there, meet other parents and make new friends for Adeline - she’s just turned one and loves being around other children. Every Saturday, we take Adeline to weekly swimming lessons with Water Babies, so we’re finally able to experience one of the special rights of passage that comes with being first-time parents.
“I’d wholeheartedly encourage other mums – and dads – living locally to get out there and do the same. Building your own network of nearby parents is such a valuable resource, especially if, like me, you’re already back at work. Signing up to any one of the hundreds of local groups is a great way to do just that!” said Kelly.
For Tamsin Brewis, who owns Water Babies in Bedfordshire, meeting new mums like Becky and Kelly is one of the best things about running a baby swim school.
“Having a baby is such an incredible experience but the last 12 months has meant that these new mums and dads just haven’t had access to the community that comes with having a new-born. We are very aware that it is not just the babies and toddlers who have been isolated during lockdown, but the parents too. So we want to help them, where we can, to reconnect with other parents and build networks. Our parents’ mental health is very important to us.
“At Water Babies, we’re proud to help these parents make up for lost time, equipping their little ones with a crucial life skill at the same time. Since pools reopened on 12th April, we’ve loved meeting so many new babies – and being reunited with some of our older swimmers too!”
For more information about Water Babies Bucks and Beds, visit www.waterbabies.co.uk/lp/baby-swimming/bucks-and-beds
1 1 Office for National Statistics, 2021, Provisional births in England and Wales.
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